Are you moving through life with happiness and satisfaction? In the movie “City Slickers” Curly asks Billy Crystal if he knows what the secret of life is. Curly then proceeds to hold his finger up and says that life is about one thing and each person gets to figure out what that is. My experience has shown me that the key to happiness and satisfaction is what we call fulfillment.
There are many people that are always saying “I will be happy when.” Many people complete that sentence with a person, place or a thing. There is no person, place or thing that can give someone fulfillment but only instant gratification. There is nothing wrong with having nice things, being in nice places, and having relationships with great people. All three of these things are part of my ideal life. So why are there people that have incredible financial abundance, multiple homes in great places, good looks, loved by many and are no longer with us due to suicide or drug-overdose? Something was obviously missing for these people. On the other hand, there are many people who physically do not have much at all but are happy as a lark and seem to be filled with gratitude.
Every human being has six emotional needs as articulated by Tony Robbins. We have the need for certainty, uncertainty, love and connection, significance, growth and the need to be of contribution or service to others. The need to grow and be a contribution are the needs of our spirit. I have been on a journey of spiritual growth and personal development since August of 2001 when I started transforming my life. My experience has shown me that I am only fulfilled when growing and being of service to others.
When I started transforming my life growing and changing became very easy because of my motivation. This can be explained by the pain/pleasure principle which basically says that everything we do is to gain pleasure or avoid pain. At the time I was starting recovery from a horrific drug addiction. I was shown a strategy on how not to go back to my painful past and part of the requirement was that I must grow. I was also shown that by growing I can open myself up to infinite possibilities. If you have some big dreams and goals, then you must constantly grow into a version of yourself that will have the ability to manifest everything you want.
If you want to grow on a regular basis then you must take on a belief that life is happening for you and not to you. If you do not believe that everything happens for a reason, then you set yourself up to play the role of the victim which means that you will stay stuck and regress in your growth. When you believe that life is happening for you, you will see that every moment is a new opportunity to grow. If we are conscious, we can see that we get to grow through all our experiences. If life was not giving you challenges, then you wouldn’t be given the opportunity to discover who you really are.
The more we grow the wiser we become. The wiser we become, the more we have to give to others which leads us to the other key ingredient to fulfillment which is service or contribution. Every human being has a purpose. The one thing that is similar with each person’s purpose is that we are here to give to others. Being of service is what connects us to others at a higher level. Service is what allows us to be free from self or the ego. Service can come in many forms and can show up in every area of our life. When it comes to our professional life, we should always give more service then we get paid for. Service is something that we should always be providing in our family and communities. Service can come in the form of a major contribution or random acts of kindness. We have the opportunity to spread love in the universe all the time. It can be as simple as holding doors for people, showing a smile, or helping someone in need. I found that one of the most spiritual forms of service you can give to another human being is simply lending your ear. Listening to others without judgement creates a context for compassion, empathy, and understanding. Sometimes someone who is suffering might only need a sounding board and a hug. This is a huge form of service that can make a big difference for someone else.
Imagine what the world would look like if everyone was growing, serving one another, and living with happiness and satisfaction. I can promise you that it would look a lot better than what you see on the news. Stop watching the news, and work toward being fulfilled. When you remain fulfilled you will have a different vision for the world. If you want to change the world, always start with yourself. We are one!